Police hunt suspect after beanstalk tragedy

Happier times - Ogre pictured here celebrating
the release of his latest album "Golden Harp" 
The Police have today announced that they are treating the sudden death of local giant, Mr Ogre (pictured right just weeks before his death), during yesterday's tragic beanstalk incident as murder.

At this morning's press conference, Chief Inspector Fable told reporters that they are hunting an Englishman, know only as "Jack", on suspicion of having caused Ogre's plunge to his death from the giant beanstalk outside his historic castle at The Land in the Sky.

Little is known about Jack at this stage except that he is of deceptively youthful appearance, armed with an axe and extremely dangerous. He should not be approached by the general public. Anyone who spots the suspect is urged to contact the police immediately. It is believed that he may have connections to the local criminal underworld and recently approached a local bean dealer seeking to trade a dairy cow for some so-called "magic beans".

Ogre's murder is known to have been the result of a home invasion or burglary gone wrong: several valuable items have been reported missing from his castle, including some gold coins, a pet goose that is rumored to lay golden eggs and Ogre's beloved golden harp. He may have fallen to his death whilst attempting to give chase to the intruder. The nation's pawn shops, pet shops and music stores have been alerted to be on the lookout for anyone attempting to cash in on such items. Alternatively, the suspect may try to sell them on eBay.

Ogre - well known for his Gaelic catch-phrase "Fe fi fo fum" and his talent for smelling blood at long distances - was a popular and well-loved figure in the local community and one of the nation's most accomplished harpists. His latest album "Golden Harp Volume Nine" was released as recently as last November.

As one resident said, "He was always ready with a cheery snarl and liked nothing more than to have local children come to his castle for dinner. You'll be hard pressed to find anyone with a word to say against him. This is a tragedy that has gotten everyone thoroughly traumatised. He'll be sadly  missed."

Another local told this reporter, "What's the world coming to when law-abiding giants are not safe in their own castles? Kids these days have no respect. Why, only last week the Three Bears who live in the forest just around the corner had their porridge stolen right off their dinner table!"

Mr Ogre's funeral will take place next Thursday. He is survived by a very large widow.
____________________________________________

Genghis Kant: a novel by Steve Cook. Features incredibly alien household appliances and edible musicians. Available in paperback and ebook or injected straight into your brain. Find out more now.

        ____________________________________________________