Renowned stuntman Dave Crash, famous for his complete lack of fear or, indeed, common sense, has
announced that he will soon attempt to push back the boundaries of his profession by attempting a stunt that no man has yet ... er, attempted, and lived to tell the tale.
Dave's career as a stunt man began after he spent his early working life as a pothole installer for his local Highways Department.
His job naturally brought him to witness countless road traffic crashes and collisions, although most admittedly at low speed.
The sound of exploding tyres, the crunch of crumpling metal and the cries of anguished motorists inspired him to seek a career as a stuntman.
After training at Reckless, the top stunt school a Deathtoll Nebraska in the USA, Dave carved out a successful career as a movie stuntman and received Oscar nominations for his feats in Salazaar Bim's "The Man Who Lost His Sandwich" and Clint Eastwood's spaghetti Western "Let's All Cheer Up A Bit".
His new stunt, set to top a glittering career if he survives it, will require a fleet of ambulances standing by and will see him get up early in the morning and annoy his wife before she has had her first cup of coffee. When she gets annoyed he will then risk life and limb by telling her to calm down.
Betting on the outcome is already robust according to Ladbrokes with, at this writing, the odds at 2:1 that he will be hospitalised, 3:1 that he won't survive and 25:1 that he will pull off the stunt unscathed.
Men everywhere are advised not to try this at home.