by Steve Cook
|The PM arrives at this morning's briefing|
In order to halt the spread of the media-borne disease, the government will today put in place new laws that are actually merely guidelines with the force of law except that they cannot be enforced. These guidelines will from tomorrow morning ban the speaking in public (or private) of spoken languages that involve the use of a lot of phlegm and spitting such as in the Welsh sounds for LL and CH (see pronunciation guide here). Such languages include, for example, Welsh and . . . er, Welsh.