Psychiatrists warn Parents: your Child may be demented

"Totally demented" - a psychiatrist speaks
Following the shock discovery by psychiatrists that video game addiction is a new, highly profitable, mental illness to be treated on the NHS at taxpayers' expense (see article here), the mental health industry briefly ran dangerously low on stocks of nuances of human behaviour to label as mental illnesses.

The so-called Behavioral Nuance Crisis has however been alleviated by the discovery of a new, hitherto unexpected illness.

The discovery came after minutes of intense research to find a cure for depressed psychiatric profits. While the news of this new illness may at first appear dire, there is however a silver lining in that it affects children and this is the demographic group whose labelling and treatment is most likely to return a handy profit.

The illness is known as SLAD, Severe Lego Addiction Disorder. It is marked by a list of worrying symptoms that indicate one's child is, in the words of one psychiatric expert "totally demented". These include:
  • The tendency of the child to play with Lego for hours on end.
  • The construction of large, bizarre structures out of Lego such as the Millennium Falcon, detailed replicas of American aircraft carriers - which can also be used for terrorism purposes - and lifelike models of Captain Underpants.
Millions of mentally ill children are building Lego replicas like these
  • The tendency of the child to throw a tantrum when his or her Lego is thrown away or set light to.
The disorder can lead to the neglect of important character-building pass-times such as watching television, bullying siblings and so forth and may even lead to the child being quiet and absorbed for protracted periods without the use of important character-building medications such as Ritalin.

It is now known that millions of children under the age of 36 may be the victims of this illness, which is believed to be the result of a chemical imbalance in the NHS.

The NHS, with millions of pounds going spare, is reported to be ecstatic at the identification of yet another disorder to throw other people's money at.

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