Man not friends with Jeffrey Epstein exposed

Snubbed dignitary the subject of new Panorama documentary

by Steve Cook

Ever since Jeffrey Epstein killed himself by orchestrating his own murder it has emerged that the famed businessman - who operated a charity that donated little boys and girls to needy oligarchs, politicians and other degenerates - was personal friends with everybody in the planet's senior management echelons.

Or at least that was the assumption until an in-depth investigation by Interpol was tasked with tracking down individuals with morals and other undesirable traits. The purpose was to eliminate them from inquiries so as to arrive at a list of suspects with a motive to cause Epstein to kill himself in a way identical to being murdered. 

The list would then be passed on to the relevant agencies so that the suspects could then be persuaded to run themselves over with their own car on the freeway, swallow a live hand grenade, stand at the Stretford End wearing a Manchester City scarf or other popular methods of suicide made to look like murder in the traditional manner. This would further spare the planet the agony of having to see evidence of wrongdoing and proof of degeneracy and cause people to conclude - erroneously - that it is probably a bad idea to allow rich people to be exempt from minor, piddling laws such as those forbidding child molestation and human trafficking. After all, their lives are hard and thankless enough as it is without denying them the right to let their hair - or trousers - down.

Months of scrutinising millions of intelligence files, phone records, photographs, emails, credit card statements and gossip column innuendo, however, at first failed to eliminate anyone. The investigation could not find a member of the global political/corporate "elite" guilty of not being chummy with Epstein. The list of suspects consequently remained at a mere one hundred and forty thousand people.

No-one was guilty of not visiting his quaintly named Isle de Pedo or turning down an invitation to his famed lavish orgies in which no scruple was spared in the effort to enable care-worn ministers, corporate oligarchs and other movers and shakers to lay themselves open to blackmail for the rest of their lives.

It is broadly recognised among the world's Very Best People that sexual perversion and lack of morals are the mark of genetic superiority and vital for the smooth running of any aristocracy genetically endowed with the ability to act like criminals and get away with it. After all, if it was good enough for the decline of the Roman empire, then it is certainly good enough for us!

And blackmail is, as everybody knows, an essential pillar of the New World Disorder so favoured by Satan and other global benefactors.

Eventually though the investigating team was able to track down a government official who had never met Epstein, never visited his island and, incredibly, was never invited to one of his orgies. We are able to name and shame him here. 

His name is Marmaduke Bim, the Minister for Paperclips of the small central African nation of Osongo Bongo. He is the subject of a new soon-to-be-aired Panorama documentary. Entitled "A man ignored - living without guilt" the documentary reveals his harrowing personal account of what it was like never to have known Jeffrey Epstein and his personal hurt and shame at never having been invited to any of his orgies.

A preview of the documentary shows a tearful Bim describing the psychological scars that resulted from being completely left out and the loneliness of never having been caught on tape with his trousers down.
"Sometimes," he said, "I used to wonder what was wrong with me and why I was so different to thousands of ordinary rich or influential people that I was denied the life of corruption and perversion they all took for granted. Why that nice Mr Epstein took it upon himself to treat me like that, I will never understand. I am not, admittedly, into pervy sex but it would have been nice to have been asked."

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