Daily Scare Exclusive: Author announces he no longer identifies as a man, Shock

Author and regular contributor to The Daily Scare, Steve Cook (pictured here with his
Steve Cook with Gertrude
companion Gertrude) recently described as "extremely sinister" by Donald Trump, today announced that he no longer identifies as a man. Here is his statement in full.

Dear Friends,

I just want to let you all know that after much soul-searching and contacting who I really am, I have decided that I no longer identify as a man.

It is my dearest wish that henceforth you all avoid offending me by supporting me in my effort to identify as a cat

By "supporting me" I do of course mean ignoring the fact that I do not have fur, a tail and other feline attributes - or indeed any feline attributes at all - that present circumstantial "evidence" that I am not in fact a cat. We all know that the trouble with evidence is that you can use it to prove anything, especially facts.

So let us all set aside such nonsense and accept the fact that I am really a cat. As a such I expect to not have to do any work, sleep all day and be served food on a regular basis, which is not in fact as big a lifestyle change as you might think.

My psychiatrist has been very supportive and has arranged to have me neutered on Thursday.


The Cutter Files: a novel by Steve Cook: Features some attempted probing and quite a lot of running away. Available in paperback and ebook. Find out more now.