When so much is doom and gloom it is heartening for almost no-one to discover that British newspapers are suddenly doing very well indeed.
Sales have been in a long decline since millions of people decided they would prefer to be lied to by other sources, such as Facebook memes. Yet those plummeting sales have reverted dramatically in recent weeks and editors report that they are as surprised as anyone by skyrocketing demand for The Sun, The Mirror, The Times and other globalist newsletters.
The news comes at a time when the nation is reeling from running out of toilet paper.
As the two phenomena are simultaneous, scientists suspect there may be a link but they are at a loss to explain what it is . . .