Scientists discover alternative universe full of odd socks

by Steve Cook
Frankenstein probe's historic first pic of the
northern face of Sock Mountain

We have all experienced the mind-numbing horror and dismay of discovering we have odd socks, the matching socks having eerily vanished into thin air. It doesn't matter how much we work at pairing our socks, we are ALWAYS left with three for which there is no match. Even more peculiarly, the odd three are never the same ones from week to week.

Well, scientists exploring the possible existence of alternative universes may have found the answer. It comes after the discovery by boffins at the Frankenstein Institute in Reckless, Nevada of an alternative universe that exists parallel to our own and which is similar yet different in many ways.

The discovery of what is now known as AltEarth1 and the opening of a portal thereto was the first breakthrough and this was followed by sending a robot probe through to explore this new, hitherto only theorised universe.

The probe quickly revealed the existence of a planet similar in appearance to our own that boasts entire mountain ranges composed of odd socks. It is believed that the spinning drums in washing machines have been setting up an unstable electromagnetic field that opens a portal to AltEarth1, through which slip mainly socks but occasionally knickers as well.

A second expedition in which the the probe was tasked to more closely explore the nearest geographical feature - dubbed Sock Mountain by experts - revealed that among the socks were also car keys, mobile phones, loose change, credit cards, packets of condoms and various other things we can't find just when we need them.

A third expedition launched last Tuesday has since revealed that AltEarth1 has undergone a recent geological upheaval, which has thrown up a new mountain range comprising toilet rolls.

Scientists believe that they may discover the planet to be inhabited by feral bands of panic-buyers.

Long-range scanners have also detected the existence of a volcano made of tax dollars.